HONEST MISSION

 *Approaches a girl in a bar*

Me: Hey beautiful

Girl: *smiles*... Hello handsome

Me: I've been watching you for a while and I couldn't get my eyes off you, my name is Stephen Joel

Girl: *smiles harder*... Awwnn, is that's so?

Me: Yeah...what do you say I buy you a drink and we get to know each other, better

Girl: I don't mind

Me: waiter!! two moet chedon please...

Girl: Ohhh, I love your taste

Me: *smiles*....are you single?

Girl: Fortunately, yes...and I'm fortunate cos I've met you now.

Me: *smiles harder*...na me dey toast you, na me dey blush

Girl: Awwwnnn...you beautiful boy

Me: *smiles and blush*

Girl: *rubs my cheek*

* Random guy walks in with his friend*

Guy: Cassandra, so this is what you've been doing behind my back??!!

Friend: Bro, calm down, calm down abeg

Me:

Girl: Ebube I've told you times without number, stop disturbing me!! stop it!!

Me: Babe, who's he??

Girl: He's my ex ooo...my ex that I left cos of how dirty he was and how he always treats me.

Me: Hmmmm

Guy: *tries to touch her*.. Cassandra, pl....

Me: *holds his hand*... Bro, please leave her alone...as you can see, she doesn't want to be disturbed

Guy: Chai God...you touched me??

Friend: Ahh

Me: l hate seeing men treating ladies this way, you're supposed to do better bro

Friend: Yeeeeeee!!!

Guy: Brroooooooo!!! comot for here, make I speak to my woman!!!

Me: She's not safe around you bro, how do you expect me to leave her alone??? 

Girl: You know what, Ebube just leave! please leave!! 

Guy: *still standing and looking at her*

Me: *pushes him*.... please leave bro, you heard her. She's beginning to feel uncomfortable.

Friend: Bro abeg, abeg make we dey go... free the barnie

Guy: My guy, call your mama today, tell am say you love am cos I promise you, you no go reach house today!!!...*leaves with his friend*

Me: It's this kind of life and baseless threats that made her leave you, bro. you're supposed to do better...I hope you will.

Girl: Goooooodd!!! that guy irritates me!!

Me: It's okay dear, it's okay...there are people like that

Girl: I know he loves me so much but I don't like the fact that he's in cult. Does he expect me to take a cult person home to see my dad??

Me: mmm??

Girl: Always wearing his black berret and yellow tie..any small thing, his guys will start hailing him 001, seven star general!!! Lord of the seven seas and other nonsense like that. Gosh!!!